Ministry Sentence: To cause us all to think about Christian parenting and encourage these ideals wherever we need to.
Introduction This is the third sermon in a series of three topics which seem to rate special attention. We looked at the tensions surrounding Genesis 1 & 2. We still maintained God was creator and the universe is accountable to Him, but couldn’t resolve how God actually did it. Last week we considered action in social justice as a requirement of being a Christian. Today we focus on Christian parenting.
Special note for the 5pm-ers. Many of you may be wondering if this sermon is relevant to you. Nevertheless, as a single person or non-parent or relative you can have a positive influence on others – without interfering on those parents and children close to you. You can reinforce Christian parenting and discourage otherwise. Complete disinterest in your wider family and connections is less than Christian.
Also, most of you if you are not married will one day want to be so. In your criteria for the prospective husband or wife, you need to consider parenting potential – for example, if one of you is not a committed Christian, there will always be at least an underlying spiritual incompatibility which will minimise your marital bliss and therefore reflect negatively on any children.
Another significant factor is when you eventually become parents, you automatically style your parenting on the way you were brought up – and this will have its positives and negatives. Listening carefully to this sermon will help you evaluate your own upbringing and you then immediately decide the good and Christian things you’ll keep and the bad and non-Christian things you will renounce – and there will be some even if only a few. Danger here of over reacting to what you think are or were your parents’ weaknesses and taking for granted their good points. Whatever – we need to show them respect.
Once you become a parent, then you realise how difficult it is to excel in this important area of being a Christian. Hopefully, this talk will help you appreciate the good in your own parents.
Permit me to digress here. If they were still alive, my dad would be close to 102 and my mother would have turned 100 last Thursday. They weren’t perfect, but lived commendable lives. They were committed Christians and sacrificed their lives to give us six children (I’m no. 3) not only their genes, but the knowledge of Christ, the best of education, the opportunities to excel in sport, and the example of social relationships with relatives, neighbours, church friends, mixing with one and all – irrespective of social backgrounds.Lay Lee’s parents have also passed away. Lay Lee’s dad would have been 100+, He survived the Japanese occupation of China in the 30’s and the Japanese occupation of Malaysia in the 40’s’. Lay Lee’s parents became Christian through the famous Chinese evangelist Dr John Sung, Being amongst a small minority of Christians in a rampantly pagan Penang, they joined the Anglican Church where they were encouraged by evangelical missionaries for England and Australia. They likewise worked hard to give their children the best – Lay Lee was given the opportunity to study in Australia. I am indebted to her parents, since she has become the love of my life and the mother of my children.
So parents enjoy your kids while you can and kids appreciate and enjoy your parents while you can. Be wise in your choice of a partner in marriage. Resolve to be the best parent you can be. If you don’t become a parent, you can encourage others who are. If you are involved in children’s ministry much of this will apply.
Sooner or later, we need sermons on singleness, dating courtship. What do you think?
We had a seminar in August on “Godly Parenting” led by Wendy Muggeridge, there a few CD’s still being circulated. Please listen to them and then pass them on to other members and finally back to us for safe keeping. I have called my talk Christian Parenting, because I want us to focus on Christ – rather than God in the generic sense. Good Muslims and Jews may claim that they are doing godly parenting, but we clearly want our children to know Christ, grow to maturity in Him, and in turn make him known to others. So …
What is Christian Parenting?
It is good, Godly, and honouring Christ. It is the holistic nurture of children in their Christian growth and development.
See Luke 2:52
“Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, in favour with God and man.”
It is biblically based, but open to the best of recent knowledge on the subject.
Many parents want their children to have a Christian upbringing but themselves don’t want to be committed Christians. Let’s hope in due time they will themselves accept Christ. But, in the meantime, a Christian style would be better than a non-Christian style. Ideally the Christian parent leads by example in having made that personal commitment to Christ, being assured of Christ’s salvation and God’s providence in every area of life. It is incongruous to try to pass on to someone else that which you don’t have.
Hints from the Bible Passages
The Bible has much to say directly and indirectly about the raising of children. We look at just a few today:
Proverbs 22:1-16
Good character is better than wealth v1
As the twig is bent so the tree is inclined v 6 Early training. Plan not to work until the children go to school. Work within that budget.
Foolish children respect the rod v 15
What about smacking?The bible assumes a rod – what was that? A 2.5cm thick dowell rod? A broom handle? Discussion on Channel 9 on Friday, but it seems to come up every year. A majority were in favour of smacking but not physical or verbal abuse. The sharp wack of an open hand on the back of the buttock, thigh or calf can instantly sting with pain but only with extreme force cause temporary or permanent markings.
Some prefer not to use the hand because that is more appropriate for gentle acceptance and caressing of children. So a flat flexible instrument is used instead, eg a flat wooden ruler or a wide leather belt. There needs to be a whole regime of discipline and punishments, but when all these clearly fail, drastic but non-rage action has to be taken. Children’s insults and rebellion do make us angry, but keep it under control. Begin the day with firm discipline, and if appropriate relax later in the day. Don’t be free and easy all day and then clamp down in the evening. That’s asking for trouble.
Eph 6:1-4 Children are to respect, honour and obey parents v 1,2 Parents are not to exasperate their children v 4The discipline and instruction of the Lord v 4
Their assurance will reflect your assurance
Mark 10:13-16 Let the children come to me v 14aDo not hinder them v14b
The Kingdom of God is for them v 14c
Young children’s salvation? Covered by the faith of one Christian parent? Covered by the grace of Christ otherwise.
Random thoughts
Children are a gift from the LordParents are called to be good stewards of these gifts
Children need parents in a stable loving marriage Single parents can manage but with difficulty. Why is Marriage and Parenting still the Cinderella of Education?What if parents disagree on a course of action or discipline, what if one parent crosses the line into unreasonableness, and or rage? The father being the head of the house should have the final say and as such he is responsible before God and society for the outcomes. If he is unreasonable, unfair, or aggressive to the children, this is to be communicated to him and he should not feel insulted or demeaned by such communication of a difference of opinion. If there is a difference of opinion, it may be wiser to take the softer option and review the matter when things cool down. After punishment, disagreements and so on, there should be time and space for reconciliation, repenting and forgiving, renouncing bad behaviour and repairing and any damage, emotional physical or material. Parents need to take the initiative in saying sorry and forgiving to each other and to the kids.
Factors to consider:
Christian parents = Christian children?
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Parents are responsible to God to be good Christian Parents. Insofar as they fulfil those responsibilities, generally children turn out fine.
But what if they don’t?
The growing autonomy of the child Children eventually have to make their own responsible decisions – can’t blame parents.
The imponderable sovereignty of God – why do some children from good parenting turn out rotters and some children from hopeless parental situations turn out remarkable Christians? Can’t blame God, can’t be proud – simply trust in his mercy and do what you must.
Conclusion
Never give up hope
St Augustine’s mother never stopped praying for her rebellious son. One day he got converted and became a great Christian theologian and leader of the 5th Century of the Christian church. Don’t give up striving to be a good Christian parent. On the other hand – be realistic, every child has his or her uniqueness and so does each family. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Be discerning in who you get your advice from. Seek out Biblically informed, well read, and reputable practitioners.